Today, I am angry. Today I am so furious that there are tears in my eyes and I can’t go one day longer without making a noise about this.
I am angry that the so-called “sex education” I was provided with was so incredibly inadequate. I find it hard to believe what I’m about to say, but I know it’s true, because I lived through it.
Nobody told me I had a clitoris.
Nobody told me I was capable of having orgasms.
For five years I was given “sex education”. It mostly consisted of periods and condoms. It didn’t talk about consent. It didn’t talk about the actual mechanics of sex, about arousal and lubrication and oscillation. It didn’t tell me a single thing about relationships and it didn’t tell me I had a clitoris.
I only know now because of the internet. Nobody entrusted with my care and education has ever told me that the female orgasm exists, or about the parts of my anatomy necessary for it.
I didn’t find my clitoris until I was eighteen, after six years of active sexuality.
That makes me angry. What makes me even angrier is the certainty that there are other girls like me, being “educated” in sex by their schools and their local health providers, and given so little information about their bodies that only luck and stubbornness will ever give them the ability to have orgasms.
That makes me furious.
Edit: This post has been getting a lot of attention in the past few days, and I want to clarify a few things.
1) I am not in the US. I am in England. I was educated in an English state school and sex ed was provided by the local NHS Trust. The history and current politics of sex ed in Britain are not that of the US and it would be unwise to assume that such movements as absitence-only have any relevance here.
2) “Active sexuality” meaning I experienced myself as a sexual being, not that I was having sex with other people. I felt and recognised arousal and desire and sought out the things that turned me on – which I would call being actively sexual. Unfortunately that becomes ambiguous when the common euphemism for “having sex with other people” is “sexually active”.